That THING Just Bit Me!

I can tell that this is going to be a long weekend.

If I have to start out a friday afternoon with the phrase:

“NO you cannot bring anymore wild animals into the house!”

then, yeah, long days ahead my friends.

I swear, this is my side of the conversation that I had with the 4 or so children that were here:

NO MORE WILD ANIMALS! What is that thing? Oh My God it JUST BIT ME. no, sweety, that is not an antelope. Stop chopping that onion until i get into the kitchen! Someone open a window maybe it will run out. NO you cannot have glass to start a fire with. I SAID  I WAS COMING. What? NO. What? yes have a popsicle for christs sake. ONE SECOND! Put a wooden spoon in your mouth if the onion is making you cry. WHo needed this bandage? I have no idea if cats see green. Stop chopping the onion! Hi, what did you want again sweetheart?

I dearly love having a house full of kiddy goodness. But there must be some kind of middle ground between full on crazy and playing nicely. No?

Then someone knocked on my door. To panhandle for charity. In the middle of this. And sweet sally-two-shoes asked the 7 hundred kids their ages.

“6,8,9,7,10…”

It was a beautiful moment when she just looked at me, in my flowery apron and said “i think i should go…down the street…i’m sure your neighbors want to give…uh… bye”

And yes, that thing did bite me. It looks…ok. I’ll keep you posted.

 

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8 thoughts on “That THING Just Bit Me!

  1. Oh, have a tot of gin and relax! It’s all good! We are gearing up for elections now, so we have the politicos knocking every day standing there with their clipboards. Yeah, save the whales. Save the children. Save the dogs. Save religion. Save marriage. Save the vets. My dogs won’t let them annoy me too much. They may be even more of a deterrent than all them kids!

    • OMG I know right? And do you have anything that i can sign that will save ME? Oh. OK, HAVE A NICEDAY. (the one phrase that will annoy non-Americans endlessly. )

  2. OMG YOU POOR THING. I totally feel your pain on this one–my kids have been out of school all week and “climbing the walls” doesn’t even really begin to describe the gravity of the situation. So to speak.

  3. Thanks for popping over to my blog with your brilliant Jaffa cake suggestion. I think I can find them at Cost Plus here.
    And no – it’s nothing other than “full on” in my house too!
    I always though it was a metal spoon that stopped the onion thing?! My (American) mother-in-law told me that. Perhaps she was just trying to see how gullible the English woman really was!

    • Jaffa Cakes for the win! I think I learned that wooden spoon/matchstick thing form Upstairs Downstairs! I did not know that americans just used spoons!

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