Things I miss about the U.S.

You know what I am missing right now? A functioning ‘B’ key on my keyboard. If I don’t pay absolute attention, I end up with no b’s and it makes me look like an idiot. Especially when I am chatting with random customer service advisers and hit enter without looking.

Did I say customer service? Good lord. It’s pretty bad in the states, as evidenced by the hot pile of shit that I had to take from my US bank last time I called them. But here? No way is anyone going to help you with anything, ever. Everyone from shop keepers to phone reps to the McDonald’s staff treats you like you are making SUCH an imposition on them just by existing. I miss being treated with a minimum amount of courtesy  when I am spending my money.

Screens. Window screens. OMFG ENGLAND! It’s 2012 and y’all havent figured out fucking window screens. You guys, I know you will find this difficult to believe, but no one has screens in their windows. OK, some hotels on the California coast don’t bother, but that is because there aren’t any bugs. This is, sadly, not the case here. Also, air conditioning. (whole ‘nother rant) I miss being able to open a window and let the smoke out fresh air in, bug free. . HELLO FLYS HOPE YOU ENJOY MY HOME! Excuse me, Mr Hornet, would you like to come in and fly around my head? I miss the summer breeze without inviting in to my house all of creation in possession of wings.

School busses. Here we have the school run. It takes up so much of my day and way too much of my soul. OK, there are some busses for secondary school, (age +11, don’t ask me to translate school years for you, I can’t) but for primary school, you must walk them to their classroom. Yes walk. From your house. To the school. With your kids. Every. Day. I’m talking a mile or two, not just down the road a bit. So that’s 45 minutes anyway.  Then you have to pick them up. This involves standing outside the school gates with a ton of very unfriendly British mums and then waiting outside of the classroom. This takes an hour easily. Having to walk up that hill and stand there with those women is soul-destroying. Every goddamn day. I miss big yellow school busses.

I wouldn’t trade my life here for anything, but there are a few things I wish the Brits would catch from the US. This is only a sample of things that I miss. Even though I would never move back, some things are still frustrating 3 years into my life here.


3 thoughts on “Things I miss about the U.S.

  1. I stumbled across your blog today and haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. As an American ex-pat (10 long years!) like yourself, I think this is my favorite post. Agree wholeheartedly with it all! SCREENS, people, SCREENS!

  2. I’ve got another one, CLOSETS! I hate wardrobes which take up so much of the already tiny bedrooms!

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