Come closer!

My children have many wonderful qualities. The ability to eat ice cream in the sun, pick me flowers, draw me pictures. They can hang upside down on the monkey bars, make up jokes, and swear like motherfucking champions. (hey, it’s a life skill! How many interesting people do you know that never swear? Thought so.)

One of their most outstanding qualities that they possess is the ability to turn into psychic vampires that feed off of my very life force.

Given the fact that neither one has been nursing for over 4 years, this seems impossile. I assure you that it is not.

Everyone, especially children, needs to be touched. My children and I have always had a very close physical bond. I love squeezing them, kissing their eyelashes, stroking their hair. (remember when I had my first baby and I wore her in a sling and Attachment Parented her like an obsessed tree-hugging idiot new inexperienced mum? yeah. i’m over that.)

But as the Giver of The Loves, I sometimes have an uncontrollable desire to NOT be touched. Just for like 15 minutes. I have 2 children, 3 cats and a manboy to fawn over. I touch a lot of mammalian life-forms in any given day.

In a fruitless attempt to guard my sanity and my personal space, I sit in an armchair in the evenings. By 7pm, I am ready to have a bit of breathing room. It’s almost bedtime, but not yet time to drink all of the wine take off my mummy hat. Little Stormbringer can not abide this. No, she can not be having with it at all. So she sits with me in the chair. I say ‘with’ but it’s more like ‘ON’. She perches her bony behind on my right hip. She then cuddles me and comments on every web page that I visit.

This is great for a few minutes. Then it becomes painful. Her butt-bones have now embedded themselves into my flesh. The muscles on the right side of my body are groaning in agony. Half of my leg is asleep and the rest is on fire. She is leaning her head on my shoulder and her ear is now sweat-stuck to my skin. She needs to possess my soul, squeeze out it’s meaty juices and devour them with her never-satiated heart-hole. It’s excruciating.

I do love our little moments together, but I think maybe squeezing into the same chair every evening is crossing the line a bit. Do I feel bad when I make her get off? I do, I really do. Hell, half of the time I invite her back. I am an idiot.

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5 thoughts on “Come closer!

  1. the closness you have with the girls will never change and will only grow stronger, you will cherish as they get older. Don’t know what I would do with out Lisa and Sarah. And I always wished you would have been closer. Family is so important to me..

  2. My kids are 10 and 8 and just hitting that age when they don’t always want to cuddle… But man, when they do.. They always want to cuddle me at the same time, while I’m lying on the couch.. As a result I end up with one kid little-spooned in front of me, and one somehow laying up my side, and I can feel my spinal column curving and fusing into a bizarre “S” shape under the weight and yet I grin and bear it because “who knows how much longer they’ll want to cuddle with their old mom!”

    • “one kid little-spooned in front of me, and one somehow laying up my side, ” you get me. You get this. “I HAZ ALL OF THE PAIN, but it is awesome. sigh.

  3. I know what you mean. I was never a cuddly person but I learned to be. When mine were little I enjoyed the time but also felt some relief when the weight was lifted. My younger daughters are 18 and 16 now and sometimes they still smoosh me on the couch. Now I just stay very still. Even if I can’t breath. Because it’s going to be over so very soon : )

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