I lie. Americans are VERY popular. Just not for all of the reasons that we want. I have a unique view from overseas. I say ‘unique’ because America does not have any type of world view. Especially about…this…
Apparently we are not popular because we love ice. We love a cold beverage. NO. I will NOT stop banging on about this! Look, I can drink a warm beer next to anyone in the UK or Europe. I am fine. I can even deal with coke in a fast food joint with no ice. I am trying to adapt. But when you mess with ICE water? I am going to mess with you right back.
In UK-Euro-Town you cannot have ice. If you ask for ice in a drink you are going to get three cubes. This is not a stereotype or an exaggeration. This is the got’damn TRUTH.
I was having a hard day last week. I was out all day with the kids. I did the dentist. My thirst was not fucking around. We went for lunch. I told the waitress….” PLEASE… I know Americans always ask for ice in the water. Please. I want a glass of ICE with water on top. None of this three-cubes stuff. aha. ha. please?”
She was all ” yeah, we get that a lot!” really? In Devon? you get Americans asking for ICE? ok….”I will give you water with ice!” I am so thankful. I am thinking that she feels me. She gets me. She is going to give me a cold beverage.
NO. Do you want to know what I got? FOUR CUBES. Four Euro-cubes of ice. FOUR EURO-CUBES. AND I WAS GRATEFUL.
I am going to steal a bit from this rant on the lack of ice over on this side of the pond.(it is a paraphrase. his bit was way funnier) Is it harder to make ice on this side of the Atlantic? I asked you for ICE, not a penguin! Jesus! I can buy a whole BAG of ICE from Tesco for one pound! A Buck Fifty!
Manboy says that it takes too much power to ‘freeze water’ to make it just OK for a restaurant to just give out ice. No. That cannot be right. I can deal with the wind farms, the endless recycling hassle, the millions of dollars that it costs me to run a bath for my kids, but ICE? You are wrong Mr Cameron. Wrong on this.
When I visit the USA next time, the first thing that I am going to do is just hold a glass under my mothers ICE MAKER that comes OUT of her FRIDGE and then sprinkle water on top.
I will never leave the UK, (love you guys) but ICE is NOT a problem. It is a right. Do you feel me?