Why Americans are not Popular. Why is ice a problem?

I lie. Americans are VERY popular. Just not for all of the reasons that we want. I have a unique view from overseas. I say ‘unique’ because America does not have any type of world view. Especially about…this…

Apparently we are not popular because we love ice. We love a cold beverage. NO. I will NOT stop banging on about this! Look, I can drink a warm beer next to anyone in the UK or Europe. I am fine. I can even deal with coke in a fast food joint with no ice. I am trying to adapt.  But when you mess with ICE water? I am going to mess with you right back.

In UK-Euro-Town you cannot have ice. If you ask for ice in a drink you are going to get three cubes. This is not a stereotype or an exaggeration. This is the got’damn TRUTH.

I was having a hard day last week. I was out all day with the kids. I did the dentist. My thirst was not fucking around. We went for lunch.  I told the waitress….” PLEASE… I know Americans always ask for ice in the water. Please. I want a glass of ICE with water on top. None of this three-cubes stuff. aha. ha. please?”

She was all ” yeah, we get that a lot!” really? In Devon? you get Americans asking for ICE? ok….”I will give you water with ice!” I am so thankful. I am thinking that she feels me. She gets me. She is going to give me a cold beverage.

NO. Do you want to know what I got? FOUR CUBES. Four Euro-cubes of ice. FOUR EURO-CUBES.  AND I WAS GRATEFUL.

Not better, just different. But with more ICE

I am going to steal a bit from this rant on the lack of ice over on this side of the pond.(it is a paraphrase. his bit was way funnier) Is it harder to make ice on this side of the Atlantic? I asked you for ICE, not a penguin! Jesus! I can buy a whole BAG of ICE from Tesco for one pound! A Buck Fifty!

Manboy says that it takes too much power to ‘freeze water’ to make it just OK for a restaurant to just give out ice. No. That cannot be right. I can deal with the wind farms, the endless recycling hassle, the millions of dollars that it costs me to run a bath for my kids, but ICE? You are wrong Mr Cameron. Wrong on this.

When I visit the USA next time, the first thing that I am going to do is just hold a glass under my mothers ICE MAKER that comes OUT of her FRIDGE and then sprinkle water on top.

I will never leave the UK, (love you guys) but ICE is NOT a problem.  It is a right. Do you feel me?


23 thoughts on “Why Americans are not Popular. Why is ice a problem?

  1. Oh quit getting your knickers in a twist, Darling Girl! Ice is bad for the esophigus (how ever it’s spelled) and not good for digestion. Now doesn’t a nice warm gin and tonic sound good now that you know that?

    • Oddly, yes. After the day that I have had with these kids? I would take any form of gin. Even in a kidney Pie. Now THAT is bad for the digestion!

  2. Sorry, this is one area where I differ from you. I always ask for NO ICE in my drinks! I have very sensitive teeth and I think it also goes back to my Dad saying you get less value for your money if your glass is full of ice.

    Keep these posts coming! I love your slightly unhinged illustrations which capture what it’s like to be a mad expat mum completely! 🙂

    • Oh, i salute your request for NO ICE! Go with your bad self there! You also have a right to REFUSE ice! ah…the american dream….Give me ICE or NO ice…. the only thing you have to fear is lack of choice of ice…..You will never take my freedom…..

      wait…I do not think that is how it goes…..shit…

    • Looking forward to seeing you this year? WITH ICE. Did you hear about the robbery of the French RenFaire? so obvious but so…wrong.

  3. Well, the simple reason that we haven’t really done the full-cup-of-ice-when-you-asked-for-a-drink thing is that it’s never really that hot in the UK. Yes, there’s an occasional day when the temps “soar” but not like American summers. No need for a lot of ice to cool you down really.

    And interestingly, Brits over here can often be seen tipping ice out of their gigantic plastic cups before getting their coke or whatever from the machine. I mean you’re paying for coke and getting a cup full of ice, which then waters down the drink to undrinkable standards. Oh and that thing where you tip the cup back to drain the drink? And the arctic glacier smacks you in the face. Yeah, that’s another reason why Brits don’t do ice.

    • True, it doesn’t really get hot here. This is one of the only things that makes me homesick. I just wanna have a giant ice-filled glass.

      Arctic glacier smacks you in the face? SO FUNNY! That is what straws are for! I hear you on that bit though!

  4. That’s really funny, because I actually only need ice in my soft drinks (which I hardly ever drink), not in my water. It’s perfectly ok for me to be served a glass of cold water without ice, but I cringe when I see them serving coke or sprite without ice. It’s just not right.

    I usually even skipped ice altogether when I went out to eat in the US, because outside of New York tap water tasted really, really awful and that meant that ice tasted horrible and totally ruined my drink. Yuck.

    On a side not, your link introduced me to Carlos Mencia and I ended up watching 4 of his videos and sharing one on Facebook 🙂

    • I’ve given up on ice in soda over here. I am resigned. I am trying to adapt. Resentfully in the case if ice, but trying none-the-less.
      Isnt he ridiculously funny? “Magical Machine…ICE JUST COMES OUT OF IT!” hahahahah

  5. I’m not too fussed about ice either way, although you are right that they frequently just hand you a glass of room temperature water here. What gets me is that everything comes with a slice of lemon! I know some people like it, but it surely shouldn’t be standard? Why does Coke need lemon in it??

  6. I can see that being annoying. Maybe if you just ask for a glass full of ice with nothing else and then let some melt… ; )

  7. Adding Carlos!! AAAH Carlos! That was a stroke of brilliance, LUURV him! “3 cubes! Dey froze Woota! ”
    I totally agree, Some things need ice, Grey goose, with a lovely lemon wedge needs ice to get it chilled perfectly and make it all gorgeous and wondrous. Sweet ICED tea, Needs Ice. ICED water, obviously calls for ice. You’ll have to carry a thermos of ice with you.

      • What’s a Pimms?? OH!! And have you heard anyone say “Bless your cotton socks” yet? Because they do that there and it is the CUTEST thing I have ever ever heard!!

      • Oh god Pimms is great.
        I dont know what it is EXACTLY but it is some kind of weird pinkish-gin-rum-like thing that you mix with sprite and strawberries and cucumber and mint (and ICE!) and it is so delicious!
        yes, I have heard that! It is so sweet! They say so many cute things. ‘of an evening’ always cracks me up. I have yet to have anyone say ‘cheerio!’ to me though.

  8. Three cubes is usually enough to keep a drink cool long enough for you drink it, otherwise they just melt and ruin the taste of the drink (if it’s a fizzy drink or juice). I like ice in my drink, but I think it’s better value to have more of the liquid you paid for in the glass, rather than more free ice.

      • I have heard this same kind of thing from other Brits. I think It is because *I* or *we Americans* drink so much faster. It is not unusual for me to finish a ‘large’ coke in a UK McDonalds and still have ice left! I am sure I can drink faster than my ice can melt. I guess it is just something I do. No worries, I didn’t see any angry face! 😀

  9. Haha, this made me laugh. Seriously… Where does the ‘warm beer’ stereotype come from?! All pubs in London sell chilled beer. I personally dislike it when I buy a coke and they give me a glass of ice with a bit of coke on top. I’m paying for the coke and, the way I see it, them giving me so much ice is just them ripping me off.

    That being said, when I’m on holiday abroad and it’s very warm, I tend to want lots of ice in my drinks. I wonder if the ice:drink ratio is closer to that of the UK in the colder regions of the US?

    • I dunno where the ‘stereotype’ comes from, but there is a lot of warm beer down here in deepest darkest Devon!
      I think part of it comes from the fact that soda in the US mostly has the free-refill option, so you never feel cheated.
      I am from Detroit, one of the coldest states, so i can still say that we ❤ ICE!

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