Just a small town girl. I will totally de-construct your illusions.

If I have to hear this song one more time I am going to explode. Literally. And by literally I mean ‘bits of my body will combust and come flying out’.  I cannot anymore with this shit.

My kids sing this stupid asshole song when they want to get me really fired up.

So ok, lets have at it line by line.

“just a small town girl, living in a lonely world”

uh, ok, I believe that this is a good thing. If you are from a small town and you are lonely, then you either have very lazy uncles or you have been mercifully un-bullied. Deal.

“I took a midnight train going anywhere

Really? Anywhere? How does Rowanda sound? Shit, kid, you can not even handle a small town…

“Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit! He took the midnight train going anywhere

OMFG. People from Detroit do not take trains. We have cars. Detroit is where CARS COME FROM. dumbass.

“a singer in a smokey room, smells of wine and cheep perfume. For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on…”

That whole thing there? GROSS. I can not even…but wait…this is a love song so…

Next, we get strangers, shadows, street-lights and hiding. Great. Sounds like FUN! Somewhere in the night. Uh huh. I am so not feeling this song. But yet…

Working hard to get my fill,  (uh…yeah? must suck to be you. Or  your pimp. Ass.)
Everybody wants a thrill  (NO….no fun is allowed!)
Payin’ anything to roll the dice,  (I said NO FUN! Do not pass go. Candyland it isn’t)
Just one more time  (can you please stop now? I am tired. )
Some will win, some will lose (is that how life works? wow. news. )
Some were born to sing the blues (and some were born to have a needle and the damage done.)
Oh, the movie never ends  (i know. never, ends. )
It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…..

I hate this song. It must be the stupidest song ever written. But even living in the UK I can not escape it. not even “In the NIGHT

Do you have a song that you hate more than this? You can tell me, but I do not think that I can hate anything more than this. Try me.

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7 thoughts on “Just a small town girl. I will totally de-construct your illusions.

  1. I can’t write a comment. I am laughing too hard. Your blogs just get better all the time. Please keep them going on and on and on and on!

  2. OMG. Hilarious.

    I could probably think of something that annoys me more, but the first thing that came to mind was “Joey” from Concrete Blonde. It’s a dirge…one of the most depressing songs I’ve ever heard.

  3. Hilarious! Perfectly.

    I have a 14 year old. I can’t even list all the annoying songs that exist, sung by annoying sleb wannabes, played in endless loops by young teens. I am fortunate that I managed to get in there first by playing lots of the kind of music I like with my daughter before she got to this stage and so she waters down that horrible playlist with some great stuff too.

  4. DAMN you!! That song is totally stuck in my head!

    Just for that – I give you this…
    Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon, (what the hell is a karma chameleon? and why do you need to say it so many times)
    You come and go, you come and go. (For the love of GOD, pick in or pick out, but PICK ONE)
    Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams, (slightly frightening)
    Red gold and green, red gold and green. (Sounds like a bad Santa dream!)

  5. I can hate on about 99% of the children shows theme songs. Barney immediately comes to mind. But, I love Phineas and Ferb and Bowling for Soup performed it for us when they cam to the Navy base in Guam. Oh, and Tiptoe Through the Tulips kinda makes me want to do bodily harm to people. Especially my 17 y/o when he turns it on in the car thinking he’s being funny.

  6. Hahaaa! Made me laugh out loud. I had to sing this as a duet once and I always felt kinda sullied afterwards…

  7. Pingback: Well I’ve seen Fire and I’ve seen Rain (UK;US) | Detroit to Devon; Mom becomes Mum

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