One of my kids is so embarrassing, it is beyond belief, and it isn’t the one that you think.
The White Rose is hugely, massively inappropriate. She is also racist. I wrote about it once here. It is depressing.
All of the things that I am about to tell you really happened, for real, in public. I might as well put it on the internet. Maybe this will help with worldwide birth control.
I was at a bus-stop with my kids, trying to give then a nice day out at an adventure park. There was a lovely little-old-lady at the bus-stop with us. I had brought one of Little Stormbringer’s friends with us. She crouched down to look at herself in a puddle. My lovely little daughter says “looks like yur takin a SHIT!” No. OMG no. Yes, I pulled her aside and had a long talk with her, but I do not remember what I said because all I remember was SHAME.
On the same day we got on the bus with the same little old lady and one of my kids said: “Why is the bus full of Old People? It’s like a graveyard in here!” I will admit to not parenting much at this point because I was holding on to my forehead and trying to die a quiet, private death.
I once took my kids to get a manicure. I had the same friend of my daughter’s with me and also my niece. We went into a very nice salon owned by a Vietnamese family who’s children also attend school with my kids. We were passing the time by poking my phone and playing I SPY. “I see something with my little eye that starts with the letter C!” says my Devon Dumpling Daughter. Chair? Coat? Clothes? Colours? Nope! Give up? “CHINESE PEOPLE!” omfg. No, honey, they aren’t Chinese and that is not a nice thing to say at all and…”BUT THEY LOOK ALL CHINESE LOL!” She even said LOL.
I am raising a racist douchbag and I am sorry.