Happy Bank Holiday! Wanna hear how awful my kids are already?
OK, here is the Gross thing. My youngest, The White Rose, got her finger pinched in a lawn chair while making ice-creams in the back garden with her sister. She cried. As soon as I heard the Wail Of Pain, I ran to go see to her. This is how the conversation went:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OWIE OWIE WAAAAAA
Me to older sister: Is she ok? (meaning, how much blood do I need to expect)
Yep, she’s fine.
I’M NOT FINE! I HATE YOU! YOU STUPID SISTER! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…
So, I console the child, rub her owie hand, and give her a cuddle. Then I did the gross thing.
Ya know how you kiss the tears away? Kiss each tear on the face and make a giggle happen and all is right with the world? That thing? (please say yes)
Well a huge tear drop landed on the arm of the child and i ‘kissed it away’. Then my oldest looks at me with her best Face ever and says: “Mum. that wasn’t a tear.”
I look at this child in my arms and notice that she is DROOLING with sadness and OMG I JUST ATE MY KIDS’ SPIT!
This really happened. The good news is that it made everyone laugh and the owie feel better. The bad news is that I ATE MY KIDS SPIT!
Ugh. So far today, I have had Little Stormbringer (oldest) chew on my robe and cover my arm with drool, threw out one pair of my kids underwear because that was just too yucky to even wash, cleaned cat puke out of my toes, and ATE SPIT.
Going to be a super fantastic Bank Holiday for me then!