My kids. They must really yearn for my demise. I was in the pharmacy picking up meds for my family and this happened:
MUMMY CAN YOU GET ME SOME SLEEPING PILLS SO THAT I CAN SLEEP AT THE HOTEL?
What??? NO! *gasp* Go Outside! This makes me look like I am entertaining meth-heads and drugging my kids. This is so not the case.
I turn around and try to mumble ‘I do not, I would never, please believe’ to the gramma behind me and she was, thankfully, understanding. “do not worry, last week my grandson told his mother that he doesn’t want to come to my house because I hit and kick him.” She smiles. I thank all of the Gods.
I was in our local shop the other day and I had to hide in the milk.
Sometimes, dinner just does not happen for the grown-ups in this house. By the time that the kids are fed, news is watched, Man VS food has been on, we are just too
wine tired to cook.
I went to the shop with Manboy. He picked up a packet of mushrooms. I asked him;
What are you going to do with those mushrooms?
(innocent enough, i just wanted to know what recipe he was going to use!)
I am going to EAT them! I haven’t eaten in THREE DAYS!
At this point the women next to him looks at us like we are total freaks and maybe I do not allow my husband to have food.
This sets me off. I start to giggle, I start to laugh, I start to cackle, and I AM DONE. I cannot anymore. I go hide in the milk cooler and am pressing a jug of milk to my face (*in public*) to try and stop the laughter. Bury me for I have now died.
Then The White Rose comes up to me in the milk-hysterical state that I am in and shouts: I HAD A DREAM ABOUT FROGS! DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I DREAM ABOUT FROGS? This makes me laugh more. We eventually made it out of the store with absolutely zero dignity left.
I was in the same store last night while Manboy had on his Assassins Creed Shooty Greeve Armour on. We are LEGEND.
I had an epic autocorrect yesterday. I texted Manboy about our cats. It was flee treatment day and we had missed one cat, who knew it was her turn and was not having with any of that shit.
So Manboy got this text from me
I bought a pig.
What he did not get was the text that i sent. I said ‘ i have caught Morganna’ meaning that I had flee treated the last cat.
This boy? Knowing about The Bloggess, he simply replied:
Is it stuffed or taxidermied? I know you have a blog but really? Lets try and be as sane as we can be. NO, you may NOT name it Beyonce.
Did you have an embarrassing week? Am I really Crazy with a capital C? Is my family normal? Let me know!